Memories
by Barbarossa Rotbart
Summary: This is a short story about Sam and her feelings for Jack. Yes, it is a SamJack story. Flames are send back to sender! Constructive criticism is most wanted!


Colonel Samantha Carter, United States Air Force, the newly appointed leader of the Atlantis Expedition sat on her desk in her new office deep in thoughts. She stared at a picture showing two people fishing.

In her memory Sam went back to the day she learned that she will be the leader of Atlantis. She remembered that she was in her lab trying to figure out if she should do it or not.

'Carter?' she heard someone asking from the door. 'Are you in there?' It was Jack. General Jack O'Neill.

'Sir?' She turned around and saw him standing in the door dressed in the class-A uniform he wore since his promotion the major general.

'Is something bothering you, Carter?' he asked walking into the room and taking a seat next to her.

'No,' she said, 'I'm just thinking, if I should take the offer or leave it.'She looked into Jack's eyes, hoping to find an answer in them. 'I don't know what to do.'

'Do you want my advice?' he asked Sam. 'Carter, I know that you want my advice.'

Sam nodded.

'Take it!' Jack said.

'What?' That was an advice she never anticipated.

'Yes. That is my advice.'

'May I ask you why?' Sam was wondering why the man she loved wanted her in Atlantis.

'Well...,' Jack seemed to search for words he could use. 'First you are the best for the job. There is no one Earth or Atlantis who knows more about the technology of the Ancients or the Repilcators than you. Well there is McKay.' Sam winced as Jack mentioned him. 'But he lacks something you have.' Jack smiled.

'Second you have charisma and you're a natural leader.'

'Sir, I've never...' Sam tried to argue but he interrupted her.

'You've leadership abilities, Carter. Or you've never made it a colonel in first place.'

'Thank you, sir.' Sam smiled back. 'I don't know what to say. But what ...'

'Don't thank me yet,' Jack interrupted her again. 'I'm not finished. There still some things I've to say.'

'You've to ask yourself how your career should progress? Head of Area 51 R&D?' Jack frowned as he saw her smiling. 'That's not a good idea. No it's a bad idea. You'd still do the same thing you've done in the last ten years in your spare time.

'Commanding your own SG-team? You've done that already. And it would be a step back for your career.

'Commanding our next space vessel?'

'That would be a good idea, Sir, but I had to wait a year until it is completed.' Sam was beginning to see what he wanted to say. 'Atlantis is the only possible position for me, if I want to stay in the program.'

'That's right, Carter. I knew you would understand.'

'But, what about...,' Sam hesitated, '... us?'

'Us?' Jack asked gesturing between them.

Sam nodded. 'Us.'

Jack looked confused. 'I don't see a problem there.'

Now Sam was confused. He did not see a problem. Did that mean that they could be together? 'What do you mean, Sir?'

'I don't see a problem, 'cause...'Now Jack was again searching for words: 'There was never an us. We are both too different. And we are both military. And the rules would...'

'Since when did the rules stop you, Jack?' Sam interrupted him, forgetting that he was a general and she was only a colonel.

'Carter!' Jack was getting angry. 'All the times I've broken the rules it was the right thing to do. I've never broken the rules for personal gain,' he explained. 'And I've always upheld the frat regs.'

'But I love you,' Sam was nearly crying. That was a revelation she did not expect.

'I love you too, Sam,' Jack moved his chair close to hers and lay an arm around her shoulder. 'I love you more than I should. More than the regs permit.'

Sam looked into his eyes. 'Why are you sending me away?'

'Us both together would have never worked,' Jack looked at the ceiling. 'Sam, we are too different to be happy together. I gave a promise, that I will do nearly everything to make you happy.' He turned his gaze back to Sam. 'I've supported to when you to wanted to marry Pete. I has happy for you, 'cause he made you happy.' A small chuckle escaped his lips. 'For crying out loud... I'd have even supported you if you wanted to marry Janet. Remember how close you both were?'

A sad smile appeared on Sam lips and a single tear rolled down on her cheek as she remembered Janet, who was killed over two years ago.

'Don't cry,' Jack hugged her and so they sat for quite some time.

'Why didn't you retire?' Sam asked Jack after a while.

'Well,' Jack parted from her and stood up. 'Kerry asked me the same thing. But I didn't heed her advice. Remember that I've made a promise to make you happy. '

Sam nodded and looked at him full of expectation. Jack himself was searching for words. It seemed that he did not know how to explain his decision to her.

'When was the last time we did something together?' he asked her and interrupted her as she was trying to answer. 'Only both of us. And outside the military.'

Sam tried to remember but she could not. So she shrugged.

'Would never be correct?' Jack asked her.

'I think so, Sir.' Sam said knowing that he was right. All the time they did something together at least someone else was with them.

'Never! Sam, never,' Jack told her. 'And that's the reason, I do not believe that we could be happy together. The only think we have in common is our job. And that is not enough.' He looked at her. 'I've promised your father that I will do anything to make you happy. Even if it will break my heart. But seeing you happy also makes me happy. And that all that counts.'

That made Sam smile. Then she remembered a line from a song she heard years ago:

We cannot live together  
We cannot live apart  
Thats the situation  
Ive known it from the start

'So!' she said rising from her chair.

'So?' Jack looked puzzled.

'I've decided.'

'What?'

'I take the position.' Sam smiled. She had to move on.

'Great!' Jack hugged her and kissed her head.

'But only under one condition.' Sam felt Jack's disappointment.

'That is?' he looked at her seriously.

'That we will remain friends.' Sam laughed.

'Friends.' Jack replied.

'Close friends?'

'Close friends.'

And Sam returned into his embrace.

'I knew that you will make the right decision. Or I wouldn't have suggested you.' Jack laughed and swept her from the ground. 'By the way I've got the perfect farewell present for you. It would perfectly fit on your desk in Atlantis.'

Back in the present Sam still stared with dreamy eyes at the picture Jack gave her. It showed both of them sitting in front of Jack's cabin and fishing in a pond which surprisingly had fish in it. She did not notice that someone entered her office. 'Penny for your thoughts?'


End file.
